#1 Kindness: A smile, kind word or greeting can go a long way in improving the relationships around you from your family, friends to the checkout cashier. Everyone appreciates and is uplifted when they encounter a kind person.
#2 Respect: Every person walking the earth deserves the respect even if it's just for being a human being. You can never tell what problems someone is having or what's behind their mood or bad attitude but everyone deserves respect, even if you display that respect by walking away, choosing not to engage or put someone down. One of the best gesture to show respect to a difficult person is just accepting or agreeing to let them have their opinion no matter how it differs from yours. It not only shows you respect them but also yourself for not allowing them to bring you down.
*Side note- young ladies, you need to respect yourself and your body everyday. You do that by not allowing men to degrade you or degrading yourself with how you behave, dress and speak.
Young men, learn what it is to be a gentleman and treat each woman you meet with the respect you would want given to your Mother, sister or daughter.
#3 Integrity and work ethic: these things to me go hand in hand. To have integrity is to stand by your convictions and beliefs, to be an honorable person with decent morals, honesty and pride in themselves. Do what you say and say what you mean. Learning a good work ethic is something most people with integrity have. They take pride in what they are doing. If their name is on something, make it be your best not half ass. I don't care if your cleaning bathrooms. Do the job well, it will be noticed by someone and good things will come from it. A good worker is almost extinct and has been replaced with lazy, disrespectful, no caring people who have a huge sense of entitlement. If you don't do the job your hired for well- trust me someone else will, do it better and for less pay so wake up! The quicker you realize this the better!
Ps- If you have a job dealing with the public see rules #1 and 2!!
#4: addendum to work Ethic; if you are having a bad day, personal problems, say you just broke up with your girl/boyfriend. Leave it at home. NO ONE wants to hear about your personal problems at work and no one wants to be on the receiving end of a negative conversation. Leave your cell phone in the car, your pocket or purse and LEAVE IT THERE!! Do not keep customers waiting while you sort out your love life. Trust me if he or she is worth it they can wait till the end of your shift. If they can't take a personal day to handle your business but be smart enough to know if it's worth losing pay or risking your job!
Be smart enough to call in before taking off and give as much notice as possible, go to work if you have the sniffles you can make it without dying (wash your hands a lot for the germaphobs).
#5 Basic Manners: this is hugely important. Your Mama should have taught you but in case you forgot you say Please when you want something, thank you when you receive something, do not interrupt without saying excuse me. Men/boys hold a door open for a lady. Ladies say thank you when someone opens the door for you. You give up your seat for a pregnant lady or elderly person (yes ladies this means you too). You offer to help someone when you see they are struggling to carry or drop something. Do not eat dinner until everyone is served unless told otherwise by the person cooking your meal or the person waiting on their food. Stay seated at the dinner table till everyone is done eating. Cell phones, put them on silent when eating dinner and DO NOT check them- give your attention to those who have chosen to give you their time. Whatever it is it will keep for an hour- trust me the world will not explode or end if you don't get back to Shaniqua's urgent text! There won't be a FB post that you miss that's more important than giving your family or friend the time they deserve- See rule # 1,2 ALSO- PLEASE learn decient phone manners- these are simple, ring ring- pick up and day Hello. (Do not confuse this with hey, what,yo,Sup) if the call is not for you or if you do not know how it is just ask politely, " Who's calling please?" If your taking a message write down the name and number of who's calling and say, "thank you I'll forward the message or I'll give the message to so and so." If you're leaving the message or calling start with, " Hello may I speak with Shanequa? This is (who are you)" (Idk why that name is stuck in my head tonight!! Haha) If Shanequa is out politely ask to leave your name and number. Crazy right?! People actually use ceLl phones to make real phone calls not just text or surf the web!!
#5 addendum: Basic Party Manners- if someone takes the time to plan, host and invite you to a party you should use rules 1,2.. RSVP if it's requested! In most cases it just takes a minute and is greatly appreciated by the host/hostess. In this electronic age if you don't have or want to take the time to make the actual phone call, use that smart phone I know you have and send an email or text. This takes just a moment and is at minimum the least you can do.
Always bring a host/hostess gift- if it's a simple informal dinner bring an inexpensive bottle of wine, candle, flowers. Never go empty handed. The more formal the event the higher end of the gift you bring.
ALWAYS send a thank you note. (For you kids today that means you'll have to learn cursive- sorry!!! But seriously this is a must- learn it- no one wants a printed letter unless it's from their elementary school kids especially if your writing a love letter- cursive only)
My rule of thumb is simple for the Thank you note, if you received a formal actually mailed invitation (these are rare now) take the time to write and mail one back. If you received and email or text it's appropriate to return your thank you in the same manor. You could even take it a step further and send a FREE e-card. Again it's a simple kindness that will not go unnoticed!
These are just some things I have noticed are starting to become extinct in today's society and we need to teach our children this!! Actually most parent's need to learn this themselves first!!
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